I Am Pigpen

How do normal people stay looking so clean all the time?? Seriously. I see you people out there with your shirts all clean and your hair not frizzed up from the humid air and your pants still smooth like you just pressed them and haven’t, in fact, been sitting at a damned desk all day. How? Please tell me. I’d really like to know. Because I’m a messy person. I try really, really hard to keep my food from falling onto my clothes and to keep myself looking presentable but by the end of a long work day, I’m quite likely to be frizzed and wrinkled, and there’s a pretty good chance that I’ve got melted chocolate on me somewhere. I’m basically Pigpen from the Peanuts cartoons.

Is it just an innate ability that you have to be born with or can someone like me learn this? Are there classes available? ‘How To Keep Yourself Tidy When You’re a Big Clumsy Mess of a Person!’

It’s not like I’m a messy person at home. I wash my dishes and make my bed every day. When I get stressed out or frustrated, I clean stuff or organize stuff. So, how come this doesn’t translate to my hair and clothes and general appearance? How come, guys?

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